Sven & Kille's Cat Blog

Heavy Metal Felined Bag

 

 

Purrating the relfective detail of these Catty should bags as a 10! I can stare at myself and  practice my selfie pout; of course when I think no one is watching as I know all the femme felines fancy me. 

 

 Purration Sven! Let's keep the ciatchy selfie out of our reviews and save it for your long distance married lover who's husband is about to claw you. I purate this bag design as a 9. The designer left out our Bengal cat spot print, major faux paux!  I purrate that it works more as social defense accessory: it's sharp and will enable more space when slung over my shoulder to repell the desparate wannabes that are overcrowding our social zone.

http://www.salarmilano.com/shop/4580648674/XAGUARA-BAG/7711101

Valentine's Day Purration

 

 Cattiments for Valentine's day ? I'm Asking my secret lover to confirm her love outside of her marriage so I'm going for a heart shape rock that has sharp claw like detail. 

 

 

 

 

 Meowza Sven! Her husband growl that it's from you and we will have to hire full time Ciatch protection.  Purrr... Sven's ring selection is as dramatic as his lover. I would rather give myself a Catier I mean Cartier  24 yellow gold collar cuff than have one of my female fans gift me faux paw jewels.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Catty Colors for the Holiday Season

Sven and I have purrated some catty holiday colors for our ciatchy followers to shop! As we meow for keeping on trend, we suggest red, purple and pink Bengal cat prints to catwalk in at the upcoming fashion parties.

 

 

What? Meowza! While I was practicing my duck lip selfie poses on my iPhone to share with all my social media fans, I noticed that Kille purrated some sexy options for all those ciatches that love to shop and catwalk. Go for the Valentino heels -- they are purrfectly sexy and they have my fur print in red... in case you need to get noticed as I do everyday.

  

 

SHOP THE LOOK

1. CHRISTOPHER KANE leopard and leather dress, $791
2. KENZO leopard tote, $275
3. MEADHAM KIRCHOFF x TOPSHOP angora jumper, $190
4. MARC BY MARC JACOBS animal-jacquard skirt, $280
5. TOPSHOP leopard print socks, $8
6. "Because Cats" iPhone case, $35
7. BRIAN ATWOOD leopard-print pumps, $850
8. TOPSHOP animal jumper, $110
9. ALEXANDER MCQUEEN leopard skull scarf, $555
10. MARC BY MARC JACOBS leopard backpack, $72
11. KARL LAGERFELD animal-print skinny jeans, $250
12. VALENTINO calf hair pumps, $1195

Dolce & Gabbana's Big Bengal Cat Bike

Meowzers! Dolce & Gabbana has felined a bike for me to be chauffered on, as I purrate environmentally-friendly catsport. It's the purrfect way to arrive at the shows and purrview the catwalk shows.

 

Kille is always purrating the healthy feline options, but meowself needs a comfortable car service so I can purrate images of meowself pouting and chat live to my long distance married lover via my iPad. Being chauffered on a bike does not allow me to have maximum selfie time!

 

Catty Selfies

Hey ciatches! Any of you over the mega selfies on prescriptives? I am. Want to hear something catty? Wannabes using images of us on their social media. Sven purrates them as desperate. They wouldn't be using our images, ideas, or style if they had their own.

 

 

Meowza, Kille! I'm so self absorbed that I'm always purring for admiration, but even I purrate that other wannabes using images of meowself and Kille without our purrmission and for the benefit of someone else's social media is desperate and a violation to our privacy. My secret married lover finds it catty and absolutely clawable. Good thing she lives far, far away!

 

Here's a catty example of the ciatches on prescriptives that have too much time to be purring over themselves and pouting to their iPhone for the purrfect parted lips cat pout. We feel sorry for them -- why don't they find a new hobby? 

 

 

Teenage cat who is past the iPhone and into photocopying her body parts to share on Instagram, Facebook. Meowza... hardcore self absorption right here. 

 

 

Mature cat over 40: she's in her doctor's office begging him to up her prescription as she is addicted and needs to stay slim and high -- but, in order for him to increase the purrscripts and believe it's for mental instability, she purrposes the extreme: a full frontal crotch shot! That may work for the ciatches under 30, but not for those over 40.
 

A/W13: Felined RTW Warmers

Simone Rocha’s Bengal print fake fur skirts and neck warmers are purrfection for both the style direction and felined warmth!

SHOP THE LOOK: Simone Rocha shirt with leopard collar, $824; more Simone Rocha on farfetch.com

 

 Moschino’s Bengal cat print suit and platforms also purrates high on my felined style radar as an A/W13 must-slink-in at parties... and maybe the odd visit to my office.

SHOP THE LOOK: Moschino Cheap & Chic leopard print blazer, $570; Moschino Cheap & Chic leopard-print crepe blazer, $1150

  

Cara Delevingne... or "Devine" as we meow her, slinks in this Burberry Prorsum purrfectly. Sven and I are always a fan of sheerness when worn without selfie desperation. It's best if models wear these looks, as fashion ciatches can’t slink this look anywhere near as ferrociously.

   

I was purrating on the silver-toned Bengal cat prints similar to my pelt and came across this Mila Schon feline-style helmet. It keeps out the unwanted meowing from all the non-styling ciatches.

SHOP THE LOOK: More Mila Schon on farfetch.com

 

Les Copains was also clearly inspired by my tones and purrfected a simple shift dress for the inner lady, non-selfies!

SHOP THE LOOK: More Les Copains on farfetch.com

 

Slits are generally for our desparate housewife fans who are always prowling for their next feeding session, but Giambattista Valli purrfected a runway look that works for the less desparate and perhaps for a ciatchy party look for the under 40-year-olds?

Getting Catty with Bettie Page

I do try to post selfies every day; I practice parting my mouth in a seductive way, but my paws are getting tired of holding my catphone after taking 50 shots of meowself. Then I realize I could have been purrating our Fashion Cats blog! As Kille is less of a selfie, he keeps me purrfectly inspired and surprised with what he finds while researching ferrocious ideas for our blog.

 

Meowza - if I catch Sven in another 3 hour long selfie-poutie session, I will invite our cousin cats over who are a lot taller than Sven and I and they can photo bomb his selfies purrations. For now, our great, great cousins were spotted with one of our favorite original selfies: Bettie Page. Nice to see Bengal cats can pose in Bengal-inspired looks with proper old school selfies. Bettie, we purrr for a 2013 version of you to photo bomb!

Get Spiked and Clawed by Jean Paul Gaultier!

Bengal cat prints prevail! Sven and I love the large amount of trending that our bengal cat fur print is getting in the world of Paris couture. Thank you Jean Paul Gaultier for copying my fur print and purrating them to clawable tights and sharp almost fang-like stilleto heels! Watch out fashion wannabe ciatches -- you will be clawed and spiked if you aren't cool enough to wear this look.

 

 

Sven has found some cheaper alternatives for the wannabes.

• 1TO3 stiletto pumps, $95
• Gianvito Rossi leopard-print pumps, $795
• Dolce & Gabbana leopard-print pumps, $795

 

YSL Lights Us Up!

Purration! A vintage YSL Bengal cat print lighter? Great for when I can offer a felined hottie a light for her smoking habit. As Hedi  Slimane is now re-branding YSL to Saint Laurent, I think it's a ferocious collector's item to keep in my slinking-out-for-the-night bag.

 

 

Meowza, do you think I should get this and add it to our luxury Bengal cat print accessory collection? My secret married lover will be a bit jealous I didn't purrate it for her. But hey -- she probably only goes for the guy cats that send her the most gifts, as her husband doesn't. And I'm a selfie and need to purrchase gifts for myself.

 

TO PURRCHASE: Visit this shop on etsy.com. 

Cats-tumes for Halloween!

You know what time of the year it is - Halloween is coming! I'm hunting for the purrfect catty costume. I'm purrating costumes I can try on and photograph myself in, as I'm always in need of adoration from my FB fans.

 

EGYPTIAN CAT

  

RETRO CAT

 

SHARK CAT

 
SUSHI CAT

WANNABE BRIDE CAT

 

Of course you do Sven - you'll go as far as trying on past fashion looks in your closet that are not Halloween costumes as an excuse photograph yourself... in case your secret girlfriend cat didn't tell you how handsome you are already. Meowza! She is married, so give up your affair. She's from a cat culture that always cheats on their partners or slays them.

 

Meanwhile, in the real world of cattiness, I'd like to purrate fur painting! It's cat environment-friendly, much more original, and tastes better than Greenies.

 SKELETAL CAT

STRIPEY CAT

Trending: Sharp Claws

Meowza -- I think  my claws should be cast in a mold and transformed into a purrfectly sharp 24k gold cuff! The ring is too small for catty back-scratching.

 

 

I was purondering whether my fangs should become a jewel mold, not just gold but also with diamonds. Who needs to back-scratch when you can bite the juggler?

 

 

Here's a purrated supplement. While it isn't sharp enough to scratch off the wannabe fashionistas, selfies, and cheating types, it is great for name-dropping around all the fashion ciatches! After all, it's best to wear 14k gold and diamonds and not a fake diamond ring from Kohl's to pretend your husband was being purrfectly thoughtful.

 

Buy it now on farfetch.com.